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Tag Archives: marriage
The fallow to the harrow/Let me cry
I’ve used this face before. It is the careworn defiance face, a self-portrait of the wife of the patient, taken mid-December 2011. Mark and I had been through hell, and we were so tired. If we’d known how few rivers we … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged cancer widow, death, gratitude, grief, healing, journal, life, loss, love, marriage, rebirth, recovery, renaissance, renewal, widowhood, writing
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A higher state of bean: a meditation on Cloud Gate
see the bean as the eye of God and the bridge to a higher self to laughter, self-reflection, the ability to laugh at yourself and feel connected to all through joy and pain and feeling at one with your lost love and the … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged "I will follow you into the dark", 12 Steps, Al-Anon, anniversaries, bereavement, cancer, cancer widow, carpe diem, celebrations, Chicago, Cloud Gate, death, easter, faith, forgiveness, friendship, gifts, gifts of the spirit, God, grief recovery, love, marriage, recovery, sobriety, spirituality
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27 January 2015
On January 27, 1964, the State of Texas got a little bit funkier, a whole lot funnier, and infinitely kinder as Mark Allen Daves made his debut in El Paso. Mark’s preferred birthday was small and intimate. He usually wanted … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged birthdays, cancer, cancer widow, celebrations, grief, grieving, grieving process, life and afterlife, love, marriage
4 Comments
Champagne/real pain
And what to do with this? The champagne that I’d bought to celebrate the end of treatments and Mark’s victory over cancer. Representative of failure, a moment in the grocery store and my sudden, half-assed attempt to rouse his spirits … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged anniversaries, bereavement, big tobacco, cancer, cancer widow, death, friends, gifts of the spirit, gratitude, grief, grieving, healing, i hate cigarettes, laughter, loss, love, marriage, throat cancer, widow, widowhood, writing
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Griefbabies
One week and one day ago, the boys and I lost a very good friend. One of my best friends lost her husband. A car accident took him instantly. Jerry was here, and then he was gone. Not a week … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged bereavement, depression, faith, friends, friendships, gifts of the spirit, gratitude, grief, grief process, grieving, healing, hope, loss, love, marriage, recovery, relationships, widow, widowhood
5 Comments
How to forgive
If someone loves you and wants to marry you, and wants to read this to you at the wedding . . Let him. Be wowed. Be in awe of your good fortune. Be thankful. Be generous in praise and for … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged cancer widow, death, forgiveness, grief, grief process, grieving, healing, marriage, widowhood
2 Comments
The slow walk to the pause
I was loved, like a house on fire, in a relationship that lasted a quarter-century. My time as Mark’s girlfriend, and then Mark’s wife was blessed and special and holy. We had some great fights; we were proud that we … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged cancer widow, death, love, marriage, mary oliver, mourning, poetry, relationships, throat cancer
1 Comment
Love
“Jack-a-leen” was my introduction to the music of James Hunter. I was hooked for life. Sexy, fun, saxy, a great tune for dancing around the living room with my love. JH wrote it for his wife, Jacqueline. Mark was too … Continue reading
Go to hell, midnight
Of all the emotions in the grieving process, the hardest for me is feeling “sorry.” Those feelings of self-pity are huge, so powerful and real, but the minute I begin to commit them to words, the “sorry” begins to lift … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged grief process, grieving, loss, love, marriage, new year's eve, poetry, self-pity, surviving the holidays
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Mi Media Naranja
They kept appearing in the dishwasher The knives you always fussed about “The good knives don’t go in the dishwasher” “The handles will wear out faster” “It makes them dull” On and on until I had finally caved and agreed … Continue reading
Life UnMarked 