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Tag Archives: healing
The fallow to the harrow/Let me cry
I’ve used this face before. It is the careworn defiance face, a self-portrait of the wife of the patient, taken mid-December 2011. Mark and I had been through hell, and we were so tired. If we’d known how few rivers we … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged cancer widow, death, gratitude, grief, healing, journal, life, loss, love, marriage, rebirth, recovery, renaissance, renewal, widowhood, writing
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White Rock Gospels 5:20
We all stopped to watch as it tuned up this sunset this luxurious unveiling this moving picture of color six miles past description at the lake on the lake in the lake Some of us even … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged art, beginnings, cancer widow, color, endings, God, grief process, grieving process, healing, hope, love, nature, rebooting, recovery, relationships, renewal, spirit, sunsets, walking
2 Comments
Two-Percenters/Finn (again)
“…and I know sometimes you cannot even breathe deeply, and the night sky is no home, and you have cried yourself to sleep enough times that you are down to your last two percent…” Finn Butler This week, my sister … Continue reading
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Tagged bereavement, cancer widow, encouragement, faith, gifts of the spirit, gospel, gratitude, grief, grief process, grieving, healing, healing after loss, holidays, hope, love, Matthew 17, mountains, mustard seed, New Testament, recovery, sisters, thanksgiving, widow, widowhood
3 Comments
Exploding St. Paul
I just found out that St. Paul Hospital is coming down. The implosion is set for 8 a.m. tomorrow. My son wants to drive into Dallas and watch it fall. I’m on the fence. Mark died at St. Paul. … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged cancer widow, demolition, gardens, grace, gratitude, grief, grieving, grieving process, healing, healing after loss, hospital, implosions, life, love, memorials, St. Paul, The Dallas Morning News, writing
4 Comments
All hallows, all saints
In my memory banks, there are two November 7ths that I spent with Mark. Our November 7, 1992 wedding, and the last anniversary we had together, in 2011, the day that Mark almost died. (Landmark anniversaries and new theologies) Trauma … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged cancer, cancer widow, grief, grief process, grief recovery, healing, love, recovery, throat cancer, trauma recovery, widowhood
13 Comments
Champagne/real pain
And what to do with this? The champagne that I’d bought to celebrate the end of treatments and Mark’s victory over cancer. Representative of failure, a moment in the grocery store and my sudden, half-assed attempt to rouse his spirits … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged anniversaries, bereavement, big tobacco, cancer, cancer widow, death, friends, gifts of the spirit, gratitude, grief, grieving, healing, i hate cigarettes, laughter, loss, love, marriage, throat cancer, widow, widowhood, writing
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Whatever is true
I had a great birthday. Birthdays are not my thing. I don’t handle them well. From childhood on, the days leading up to my August birthday have always been a minefield of hurt feelings. I become hypersensitive (more than usual), … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged anxiety, bereavement, cancer, cancer widow, death, depression, faith, friends, gifts of the spirit, healing, hope, widow, widowhood, writing
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Griefbabies
One week and one day ago, the boys and I lost a very good friend. One of my best friends lost her husband. A car accident took him instantly. Jerry was here, and then he was gone. Not a week … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged bereavement, depression, faith, friends, friendships, gifts of the spirit, gratitude, grief, grief process, grieving, healing, hope, loss, love, marriage, recovery, relationships, widow, widowhood
5 Comments
How to forgive
If someone loves you and wants to marry you, and wants to read this to you at the wedding . . Let him. Be wowed. Be in awe of your good fortune. Be thankful. Be generous in praise and for … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged cancer widow, death, forgiveness, grief, grief process, grieving, healing, marriage, widowhood
2 Comments
Goodbye, Man-seum
This week, the boys have thrown themselves into a big project, cleaning up the garage. The space that had been Mark’s workshop was a wall-to-wall cluttered mess, a nagging reminder of loss, and of everything that wasn’t getting done (“Throw … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged cancer widow, clearing away, death, grief, grieving, healing, hope, love, moving on, new life, recovery, throat cancer
3 Comments
Life UnMarked 