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Tag Archives: death
The fallow to the harrow/Let me cry
I’ve used this face before. It is the careworn defiance face, a self-portrait of the wife of the patient, taken mid-December 2011. Mark and I had been through hell, and we were so tired. If we’d known how few rivers we … Continue reading
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Tagged cancer widow, death, gratitude, grief, healing, journal, life, loss, love, marriage, rebirth, recovery, renaissance, renewal, widowhood, writing
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A higher state of bean: a meditation on Cloud Gate
see the bean as the eye of God and the bridge to a higher self to laughter, self-reflection, the ability to laugh at yourself and feel connected to all through joy and pain and feeling at one with your lost love and the … Continue reading
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Tagged "I will follow you into the dark", 12 Steps, Al-Anon, anniversaries, bereavement, cancer, cancer widow, carpe diem, celebrations, Chicago, Cloud Gate, death, easter, faith, forgiveness, friendship, gifts, gifts of the spirit, God, grief recovery, love, marriage, recovery, sobriety, spirituality
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Operating instructions
The moment came in the dying, then in being seated with the dead. Before you ever found your footing, the quilt was laid across your shoulders. The heft of it kept you grounded, so much so that in the first … Continue reading
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Tagged anniversaries, bereavement, cancer widow, caretaking, carpe diem, change, clearing away, death, depression, faith, gifts of the spirit, grief, grieving process, poetry, quilting, quilts, widow, widowhood, women
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Champagne/real pain
And what to do with this? The champagne that I’d bought to celebrate the end of treatments and Mark’s victory over cancer. Representative of failure, a moment in the grocery store and my sudden, half-assed attempt to rouse his spirits … Continue reading
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Tagged anniversaries, bereavement, big tobacco, cancer, cancer widow, death, friends, gifts of the spirit, gratitude, grief, grieving, healing, i hate cigarettes, laughter, loss, love, marriage, throat cancer, widow, widowhood, writing
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Whatever is true
I had a great birthday. Birthdays are not my thing. I don’t handle them well. From childhood on, the days leading up to my August birthday have always been a minefield of hurt feelings. I become hypersensitive (more than usual), … Continue reading
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Tagged anxiety, bereavement, cancer, cancer widow, death, depression, faith, friends, gifts of the spirit, healing, hope, widow, widowhood, writing
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How to forgive
If someone loves you and wants to marry you, and wants to read this to you at the wedding . . Let him. Be wowed. Be in awe of your good fortune. Be thankful. Be generous in praise and for … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged cancer widow, death, forgiveness, grief, grief process, grieving, healing, marriage, widowhood
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Goodbye, Man-seum
This week, the boys have thrown themselves into a big project, cleaning up the garage. The space that had been Mark’s workshop was a wall-to-wall cluttered mess, a nagging reminder of loss, and of everything that wasn’t getting done (“Throw … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged cancer widow, clearing away, death, grief, grieving, healing, hope, love, moving on, new life, recovery, throat cancer
3 Comments
22 March 2014
. . Mark Allen Daves January 27, 1964 – March 22, 2012 . . make it count move through the day in love laugh hard show mercy (who doesn’t deserve it) call your mama and daddy move through the day … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged anniversaries, cancer, carpe diem, death, gratitude, grief, grieving, joy, love, peace, seize the day, widow
2 Comments
The Feels
. March 20th: Lent is here, and the second anniversary of Mark’s death is only two days away. It’s just a date, just numbers. But man, they carry such weight. The approach of the anniversary makes for an intense time, … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged anniversaries, anxiety, bereavement, big tobacco, cancer, cancer widow, death, grief, grieving, healing, recovery, throat cancer, widow, widowhood, writing
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Whatever it was was it, wasn’t it?
. Whatever it was that I set out to do Just now Didn’t get done But the oven is clean To be honest, the oven did most of the work While we were out it was Burning, turning whatever that … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged bereavement, big tobacco, cancer widow, death, grief, healing, love, poetry, throat cancer, widow
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Life UnMarked 