Tag Archives: death

The fallow to the harrow/Let me cry

I’ve used this face before. It is the careworn defiance face, a self-portrait of the wife of the patient, taken mid-December 2011.  Mark and I had been through hell, and we were so tired. If we’d known how few rivers we … Continue reading

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Operating instructions

The moment came in the dying, then in being seated with the dead. Before you ever found your footing, the quilt was laid across your shoulders. The heft of it kept you grounded, so much so that in the first … Continue reading

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Champagne/real pain

And what to do with this? The champagne that I’d bought to celebrate the end of treatments and Mark’s victory over cancer. Representative of failure, a moment in the grocery store and my sudden, half-assed attempt to rouse his spirits … Continue reading

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Whatever is true

I had a great birthday. Birthdays are not my thing. I don’t handle them well. From childhood on, the days leading up to my August birthday have always been a minefield of hurt feelings. I become hypersensitive (more than usual), … Continue reading

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How to forgive

If someone loves you and wants to marry you, and wants to read this to you at the wedding . . Let him. Be wowed. Be in awe of your good fortune. Be thankful. Be generous in praise and for … Continue reading

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Goodbye, Man-seum

This week, the boys have thrown themselves into a big project, cleaning up the garage. The space that had been Mark’s workshop was a wall-to-wall cluttered mess, a nagging reminder of loss, and of everything that wasn’t getting done (“Throw … Continue reading

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