Tag Archives: loss

The fallow to the harrow/Let me cry

I’ve used this face before. It is the careworn defiance face, a self-portrait of the wife of the patient, taken mid-December 2011.  Mark and I had been through hell, and we were so tired. If we’d known how few rivers we … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ellie-gy

[Update 2/10/2016: Ellie Oben passed away yesterday. At her request, in lieu of flowers, donations may be made to a college fund for her 6-year-old son: Ellie’s Legacy: Jalen]  .  . A week ago, my friend and teacher Ellie, who’s been … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Cork, popped

In November 2014, I wrote about the bottle of champagne that was to be opened when Mark was finished with treatments, to celebrate life without cancer.  (So much for the power of cheap liquor.) The bottle lurked in the back … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Champagne/real pain

And what to do with this? The champagne that I’d bought to celebrate the end of treatments and Mark’s victory over cancer. Representative of failure, a moment in the grocery store and my sudden, half-assed attempt to rouse his spirits … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Griefbabies

One week and one day ago, the boys and I lost a very good friend. One of my best friends lost her husband. A car accident took him instantly. Jerry was here, and then he was gone. Not a week … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Go to hell, midnight

Of all the emotions in the grieving process, the hardest for me is feeling “sorry.” Those feelings of self-pity are huge, so powerful and real, but the minute I begin to commit them to words, the “sorry” begins to lift … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Mi Media Naranja

They kept appearing in the dishwasher The knives you always fussed about “The good knives don’t go in the dishwasher” “The handles will wear out faster” “It makes them dull” On and on until I had finally caved and agreed … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments