Monthly Archives: April 2012

No Time To Cry

Busy, busy, busy. I am staying busy. I’m working full-time and in rehearsals, getting up around 5:15 a.m. and going to bed after 11 p.m. Which is okay because Grief Brain doesn’t like sleep anyway. It goes like this: you’re … Continue reading

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An Aging Process

It’s always so shocking to see a progression of photos showing how the job of U.S. president ages a man.  Going through a multitude of photos of Mark in preparing for his memorial service, it was clear how the awful … Continue reading

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The Fourth Thursday

  Not yet the official one month mark, but four Thursdays ago…. The past two days have been rockier, emotionally. Not with the great bursts of weeping that occur, but a growing sense of the great, dark, terrible chasm that’s … Continue reading

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9:01

  April 19, 1995. Mark and I were in Oklahoma, Broken Arrow, at his parents’ house, the day of his brother Ray’s funeral. We got home, changed clothes. Came downstairs. Sunlight was warm through the windows, the house shadowed by … Continue reading

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About that anger….

  Today, it was all about anger. Tension, frustration, outrage. Anger’s easier. You cry less. You don’t feel sad so much as this roiling, boiling “How COULD you…(fill in the blank)?!” I try to just float with it.  I’ve swung … Continue reading

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How Is It

How is it that the world is not on its knees How is it that the day returns and is still day How is it that the light comes the air feels soft and birds sing How is it that … Continue reading

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Tsunamis

  It was all fun and games, and then suddenly it wasn’t. TSUNAMI. Within the last year, Mark and I kept getting jury summons in the mail.  Mark was in the hospital, and I was caregiver and sole wage-earner, so … Continue reading

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