Tag Archives: gratitude

The fallow to the harrow/Let me cry

I’ve used this face before. It is the careworn defiance face, a self-portrait of the wife of the patient, taken mid-December 2011.  Mark and I had been through hell, and we were so tired. If we’d known how few rivers we … Continue reading

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Ellie-gy

[Update 2/10/2016: Ellie Oben passed away yesterday. At her request, in lieu of flowers, donations may be made to a college fund for her 6-year-old son: Ellie’s Legacy: Jalen]  .  . A week ago, my friend and teacher Ellie, who’s been … Continue reading

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Two-Percenters/Finn (again)

“…and I know sometimes you cannot even breathe deeply, and the night sky is no home, and you have cried yourself to sleep enough times that you are down to your last two percent…” Finn Butler This week, my sister … Continue reading

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Exploding St. Paul

  I just found out that St. Paul Hospital is coming down. The implosion is set for 8 a.m. tomorrow.  My son wants to drive into Dallas and watch it fall. I’m on the fence. Mark died at St. Paul. … Continue reading

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Theatre(er)

I. somewhere under all this not me beyond all the stalling stammering sputtering half-started never-finished stuff is me the weighted blanketed disappeared me the girl in the snowball bush dirt floor and a broomweed broom making up stories peeking through … Continue reading

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On the empty next

I have no idea how this turned into this and then became this I don’t know what my life will look like in a few short months when the boys head off to college. I don’t remember what it’s like to … Continue reading

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Champagne/real pain

And what to do with this? The champagne that I’d bought to celebrate the end of treatments and Mark’s victory over cancer. Representative of failure, a moment in the grocery store and my sudden, half-assed attempt to rouse his spirits … Continue reading

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