On the empty next

I have no idea how this

boys first halloween

turned into this

Boys 5th grade graduation 2009

and then became this

boys in central park

I don’t know what my life will look like in a few short months when the boys head off to college. I don’t remember what it’s like to live alone, in a quiet house. I don’t know how we’ll make it financially, or what the future holds.

I don’t yet know. How could I?

So, please, on behalf of myself, and a wholewholewhole bunch of widows and widowers and divorced parents who are rushing towards an “empty nest,” knock it off. Stop with the unhelpful reminders.

We have suffered loss beyond the imagining of most people. We have stood – some still stand – on the thin edge of financial ruin. We know great loneliness. What fear of loss is. We don’t need daily reminders about what difficulties may, or may not, be just ahead.

If you meet up with your widow/widower/divorced loved one who’s about to send a child (or two) off to college, and you can’t think of anything else to say, just say this:

I’ll be here for you. 

That’s it. That’s all. Maybe offer a hug. And dark chocolate.



About Vicki Caroline Cheatwood

Writerly. Rebooting. Evolving. Searching for great chicken salad.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to On the empty next

  1. I’m here when you make a trip to New York City. I’m here with a comfy sofa! xoxo Robin

  2. Emily Gray says:

    I will be here for you. I can not imagine your times ahead. Please feel free to come and see me. My kids love tea with friends at our house and we have a spare room if you get overwhelmed by quiet. love

  3. forwardmarsh says:

    Next time you head up to the Great North, we have a Guest Room… and, you know I have dark chocolate, oh yes.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s